Rules, Rules, Rules

I had a chance yesterday to be a full time member for one day at my gym (Cospa--Comfortable sports place).Because I cheaped out, I am a 90 minute member. I need to clock in and clock out no more than 90 minutes later. But for some reason, they let us stay as long as we wanted to on Saturday. Normally I go to a yoga class and then leave. But it was Saturday, I'm done with work, and I decided to really savor the place--check it out. They have a 25-meter pool on the 5th floor, and seeing that it's hotter than the lid of hell right now, I thought I would indulge, not without some trepidation, mind you. It has come to my attention that Japan is a very rule-bound and also rule-abiding kind of place. Some of the rules are posted (in Japanese) and others you just sort of have to know. Needless to say, a) I can't read the rules, and b) I am clueless. So anyway, I brought my bathing suit and my towel and proceded bravely to the pool area. I immediately saw a sign that I was able to interpret, that is a towel with a red X through it. OK, I couldn't bring my towel into the pool. what to do with it? Whew! I turned a corner and there were cubbies to put the towels in. I reached the pool and saw to my dismay that everyone was wearing swimming caps. I don't have one. I went to the life guard, who (will wonders never cease) spoke English! He had a cap to give me. Wow! Things were going well. I had just come from the yoga class from hell (I missed the 75 minute morning class,so I decided to go to the wimpy 45 minute class--who knew it was taught by a sadist?) I got into the lane which is reserved for walking. Me and all the septagenarians strolled along in the water for a while. Then I decided to try swimming. I crossed into the next lane and did a lap or 2 of crawl. Oh oh, here comes the lifeguard. Seems you need to swim on the right--don't know why as they drive on the left. So I got out. My shoulder was hurting anyway. They have a big hot tub and 3 interesting individual tubs with these apparatuses like towel racks arranged in a sort of S shape. You lie on them in the water. Interesting. Then there are showers that are on all the time that are sort of like Water Pik shower heads on steroids. They really drill into you. Anyway, enough of the pool. I proceeded on to the bath part of my club. It's just like the onzens, which have their own set of rules. I watch the women there, and they know exactly how to wash every inch of their bodies using basins as well as shower sprays. It's quite impressive, and I don't have the knack yet. When you have cleaned yourself entirely, you sit your naked body into the hot pool. Then you splash water from the cold pool on yourself. Afterwards, I went into the next room to dress. There is a centrifugal machine like we have in my club to wring out your swim suit. I did that, and a little old lady asked me if I spoke Japanese. When I said a little she explained that the rule is to rinse the suit out in the sink before you put it in the centrifugal machine. I keep screwing up! One of the hardest things is to figure out where you can wear your shoes, and where it is strictly forbidden. My friend Jon joined a different club, and they made him buy new shoes that had never been worn outside. At least I didn't have to do that.Last week we went out to dinner with our summer session students. We all got the 'set' that included cake. All the pieces of cake are wrapped in cellophane in Japan. Call me weird, but I don't like cellophane with cake, so I took it off and put it next to the plate. All the students were most amused. You are supposed to unwrap the cake and keep it resting on the cellophane. Gosh I wish I knew the rules.